How to save a life?

I saw a recent meme on Facebook shared by a friend, a fellow animal lover, and it went something like this; 

"When you choose a rescue dog you save two lives - that of the dog you choose and the life of the dog that  gets a place at the rescue centre" 

I agree wholeheartedly with this statement but I think whoever said it underestimated the effect that choice can have. I think these beautiful dogs that come into our lives can save our lives as much as we save theirs. 

This morning I talked to my Mam on the phone. She told me a bitter sweet story. Marley, my dog, has been living with her while I have been in final year of college. He goes to lots of places with her. Naas town is a favourite with visits to the bank and the animal rescue second hand shop being top of the list. Recently they have been visiting the local garden centre. After my Mam has finished her shopping there, she treats herself to a coffee in their cafe. 

The first day the girls working there offered to sit with Marley while my Mam went for her coffee. Afterwards they came out with water for him. Yesterday my Mam went in and did the same. This time Marley was given water and a little bowl of chicken. The girl that brought him his treat was about to walk away when she stopped. She look at my Mam and said;

"You know the last day you were here? That dog sat with me the whole time. One of the other girls is mad about dogs and she couldn't get him to go near her. He just sat with me"

My Mam smiled and the girl looked like she was going to walk away. Then she stopped and said;

"I was only two days back in work. Two days back... after my mother died. And he just sat with me. Isn't that funny? And he never went near the other girl, just sat with me. Do you think he knew? Do you think he knew I needed him?" 

My mam nodded and said "Yes, he just knew" and when she told me all I could think was "Yes, he just knew". Don't ask me how - and I'm sure it can't be re-created in laboratory conditions but somehow, just somehow, that dog knew. Like the gazelle that can sense the lioness stalking it even though it has not seen it or smelt it, that dog could sense that that girl needed something, needed his companionship that day, needed to feel a little less alone in her grief. 

And how do I know? Because I have felt the power of that dog's instincts. Three years ago when I had Marley first he did one of the most amazing things I have ever seen or felt.  I had Marley a few weeks. He had been in the wonderful care of the Dog Action Welfare Group (DAWG). They, through their fosterer, had taken in this poor wretch of an animal and nursed him back to health  He was emaciated and covered in mange. He had been on the road so long that he had worn away the pads on his feet. It took a whole 10 weeks for him to be in any way ready for re-homing. 

He went up on their page and within minutes I rang and made an appointment to see him. I was so lucky because I had been the first and there was a waiting list after me. After a home check we were allowed to take him home. Marley had been through a lot  and it took him awhile to adjust. He would not even respond to his name he was so upset with being parted from his wonderful fosterer. 

Within a few weeks he was coming round. He was so obedient - he knew he was not allowed out of the kitchen even if the door was wide open. 

I was due in for my first scan for my first child on a Thursday morning. My partner said he knew it wasn't good from the moment the scan started. Then the horrible news that the baby had died a few days earlier. I'd had a missed miscarriage. No signs, just everything trundling on as expected. Except that the little baby was in suspended animation - with no heartbeat and had stopped developing. 

I was devastated. But in a very quiet way - there was just a kind of quiet acceptance that this was the way it was. My partner tried to comfort me but what do you say? What do you do? Especially when you are grieving too? 

That Saturday night I was alone. I was lying in bed trying not to smother. That's the only way I can describe it. I had been weeping up until this point but nothing big - something between stoicism and depression. This night alone in my bed I struggled to breath and then it came; something from the pit of gut began to release and it manifested in this guttural slow howl of pain. 

Within seconds this once obedient dog was beside me. He had bounded through two shut doors and over the invisible threshold of the forbidden "rest-of-the-house". He had never even been in the bedroom before! And here he was, lying on my bed, his big solemn head resting on my chest, softly making cooing noises along with my howls. He lay like that, just softly humming until my howling subsided. And then we just lay there for the rest of the evening; me slowly rubbing his head, staring into to his great big brown eyes and him gazing back from his endless pools of non-judgement. 

This has got to be one of the most remarkable experiences of my life. This moment of true empathetic doggie compassion. You can tell me this is anthropomorphising all you like but the above really happened. In one of my darkest moments this rescued dog came to my rescue. 

I sometimes think if we could all be a little bit more dog-like the world would be a better place. What do you do when someone shares their grief with you? Well I'm shit! I try my best but I really fall short of the mark. I think if I could just be a bit more like Marley I'd be a better person. If I could just sit with someone's pain and not try "hide it, fade it or fix it" I would be a better friend. I could even be someone's best friend. 

The Giant of Kinsale - Part 4

Foam Attachment

Cutting patterns for face

Here my patience was really tested. Everything started out pretty well. I was easy to cut the foam. I put in huge seam allowances. Then I began to work with the latex. 

Sometimes it feels like you are the first person to do something. Like a pioneer of sorts. There is no handbook - just a set of instructions for use on a bottle or some vague memories of the last time you did something like this. The instructions for Latex are pretty simple. I went with the instructions for two non-porous surfaces. The latex loved absorbing into the foam and really didn't seam to want to attach to the packing tape cover. Slow, frustrating work. 

Adding first foam section

After hours of work and only one cheek completed I re-accessed. The K.I.S.S. rule ringing in my ears. Keep It Simple Stupid! Go back to to what you know best; Paper Mache! So I covered the entire remainder of head in paper mache. This gave me two absorbent surfaces to deal with and made my work much easier.

This set me back by about three days as I had to wait for this rather large head to dry. In the end it was worth it as it sped up the process of getting the the foam layer on.

Decision to Paper Mache the entire head

Slow Progress

Foam Layer Continued

This was by far one of the scariest times of the project. Each piece felt like it could go wrong at any stage. I was also working with products like latex and foam and not my preferred medium of paper mache. The is something meditative about paper mache - there is something not meditative bout smelly latex and burning your fingers!

Foam all in place!
(Note the Toilet Roll)

His first showing

While I was waiting for paper mache layers to dry etc I got onto other parts of anatomy. Then with about two weeks to go to Patrick's Day, Dave and Brian came over to have a look. I was delighted to be able to show them this fella that day... 

This was when he began to be known by his stage name "O'Brien"

Ta Da!

Closer...

The Giant of Kinsale - Part 3

Drawing on the features

Building up features

Using a a DVD/CD marker I drew out his features. I also added another over-hang for his chin. Then I began to build up newspaper into features. 

This is an ingenious method passed onto me by Alicia Falvey. She used this method to create ornate woodwork effects for a 17th chaise lounge for a production of a Moliere play. It can be then paper mached over and can be sanded down, painted and varnished like wood.

Building up features

Sculpting the newspaper shapes

Once a rough shape for each feature is achieved they were covered in packing tape. The packing tape creates a kind of "shell" that helps you to see where gaps that need filling might be or where there may be too much bulk. If there is a gap it is simply filled with more newspaper. If there is too much bulk in an area the packing tape shell is sliced into. The excess is trimmed away either with a scissors or your fingers. It is then re-taped ready for covering.

Trimming/Slicing newspaper shapes

Finished base features

The Giant of Kinsale - Part 2

Willow weave

Willow Weave

Next step was the willow weave. This allowed the main circles fullness to be maintained when further layers were added.

I wove at various points; between the eyes, sides and back of the head.

In the opposite picture you can also see the addition of a chin

Packing Tape Layer

 Packing tape layer

This was a fun layer. The willow was secured in place by applying layers of packing tape. I snipped off the willow ends and then taped these to the structure.

Below you can see the inside the crown still exposed. These protruding willow sticks were woven back into the structure and covered with more packing tape.

Internal view with unfinished
crown

Close up of crown

And voila! - A structure to start adding features to! (Or C3PO as he became known after this layer)

Packing Tape Layer complete

Giant of Kinsale - Part 1

Below is the basic structure for "O'Brien" as he affectionately became known. It's funny to look at this now. This was the culmination of many days work and  sleepless nights. It doesn't look much just a weird amalgamation of multiple materials... but this is what everything was built onto. Hard work on this structure saved much work down the line.

Here are a few things I learned from this process

1. Never take a phone call whilst in the middle of complex scale equations

2. Work in small spurts with walks/nights sleep in between sessions

Basic Structure

Bamboo Frame

I used this website to calculate several complex circle equations. This equation which calculates the largest square inside the circle was particularly invaluable. 

I created the frame based on a series of circles (Beer Tubing) that would be supported by bamboo. These I decided would be the upper brow and jaw line. As the chin would come down further than this structure, the eyes needed to be lower than the centre point of the Bamboo structure. This is so the eyes would end up at the centre of the head on completion. 

I created two further supporting squares for the brow bone and cheek bones. Onto these four squares I attached beer tubing. At this point I decided on placing the eyes on one side and put eye-holders in place.

Structure with eye in place

Close up of eye

Side view of structure with eye in place

These eye holes were made using "galband" and cable ties attached to the beer-tubing frame.

There are also a series of "guy" ropes inside the structure to keep the head shape in place. These were all removed with the addition of later layers.

Making Masala for Life

Dhal, on paper, should be the easiest thing in the world. Its a lentil curry; boil up a few lentils, fry a few spices and onions and hey presto; Dhal!

Its not like that though. Dhal is an art form. It needs love and slowness.

Yesterday I took the time to make a dhal for my house mates. The last five weeks have been hectic. I have grabbed meals on the run, takeaways and not eaten enough to sustain the level of activity I have been engaged in. Yesterday evening I wanted slowness. I wanted dhal.

I started with chopping the onions... slowly. If you fry the onions too quickly you can sour the taste of the whole dhal. No rushing just watching over them and lowering the temperature as required. A good 15 minutes later and the spices were ready to go in. Then the fresh garlic and ginger paste followed a few minutes later by tomatoes.

I waited and watched and then I waited and watched some more. The oil was not separating from masala. After a few minutes I realised there was not enough oil to begin with. In a little bit more went and then watching again. Then that beautiful moment of fullness when the mad mixture that is a masala becomes one.

In with the lentils and within a few minutes that beautiful chocolate shade of  Tarka Dhal emerges. It looked like it was going to taste amazing!

In with the guinea pigs and us piggies are all happy after our shared meal!

Sometimes life rushes by. My life has been reflected in my food consumption; rushed and unloved. Taking the time to slowly prepare food can be a luxury. Slow down the tempo and breath. I took the time to cook for friends last night. They may have viewed it as a loving gesture from me but for me it was a gift to myself. The gift of slowness and love. The gift of dhal.

Keith Johnstone quote on Mask

We distrust spontaneity, and try to replace it with reason: the Mask was driven out of theatre in the same way that improvisation was driven out of music. Shakers have stopped shaking. Quakers don't shake anymore. Hypnotized people used to stagger about and tremble. Victorian mediums used to rampage about the room. Education itself might be seen as primarily an anti-trance activity.

From "Impro" by Keith Johnstone
From Masks and Trance, Section 3: Destroying the Mask