Training in "The Style" is highly technical. I feel like a plate spinner, by the time I feel like I'm getting the hang of one thing the other plates come crashing down to floor. Its a practise that engages me on an holistic level. I use every bit of my physical and mental capacity.
Annie leads us through a gentle yoga-based warm-up in the morning. "Grounding" is exactly what you need when you are about to step off into the unknown. "Who will I meet today?" Annie emphasises "the heart space". Last year when I heard this for the first time it struck a cord with me. As actor-artists we are always in battle with the negative sides of ego; "Me first/My reputation/I want to look my best". Or even more limiting; "I'm shit/I'll never make it/Why am I even dong this?" However if I can ground myself in the heart space I can feel compassion for myself, for those around me and for the characters I create. This is a place of expansiveness where I can create and take risks.
Annie finishes off the warm-up with a moment of gratefulness. Giving thanks always gets me. We give thanks to our teachers. I think of all those people over the years who have left their mark on me for good, and for bad. I think of the Hindi phrase, "When the student is ready the guru appears." I think how the roles of teacher/learner can switch in a moment, how anyone can serve in the role guru in a particular circumstance.
I think of my teacher, Belinda, who mid-wifed me through my terror of being watched "The audience want you to do well, Orla". I think of the lesson from Keith Johnston through his book "Impro"; "You are not responsible for your imagination" and how this allowed me to drop down the well into the darkest parts of imagination without fear that it somehow reflected on me. I have too many great lessons to recount here.
And whilst I am grateful for all these positive experiences, I am also grateful for the pain of harder lessons. The death of two of my young friends within three months of each other, taught me about the preciousness of my life. It made me appreciate the wind on my face and setting sun of each day as it drew to a close, something they would never experience again. I think of other losses that helped me understand that grief is a process and although the loss will be with me forever, it will not always be so all-pervading.
The lines from The Boxer by Simon and Garfunkel resonate
In the clearing stands a boxer
And a fighter by his trade
And he carries the reminders
Of ev'ry glove that layed him down
Or cut him till he cried out
In his anger and his shame
"I am leaving, I am leaving"
But the fighter still remains
At times I have wanted to cry out "I am leaving" too but the fighter in me still remains. I am grateful for every every glove that cut me and every hand that held mine. I am grateful to all my teachers.
At times I have wanted to cry out "I am leaving" too but the fighter in me still remains. I am grateful for every every glove that cut me and every hand that held mine. I am grateful to all my teachers.
