The best laid plans...

This week began with all the usual enthusiasm that Mondays bring in my world - a time to start afresh, the first day of the rest of your life, yaddy yah yah! Well Monday's activities were put off for another day -  sure isn't there always tomorrow? Couldn't really get warm all day, no matter what I did. Went for a run Monday night and never even broke into a sweat. Had some yummy Aloo Palak and finally I felt warm.

That night I woke up several times feeling pretty restless. I got up a few times to drink some water, thinking it might be that I was a little dehydrated that was keeping me up. Third time I awoke I knew it was more than a bit of restlessness. Something was wrong, really wrong. Gut-wrenching pain and dashing to the toilet. I am a notoriously bad patient and in light of this it was obvious that I would accuse the nearest sentient being of attempting to poison me. Why think logically that I could have a stomach bug when I could blame the nearest person of murder most horrid!

The next morning the accused was sent to the pharmacy to get me an arsenal of medication to get me through the worst of "poisoning". There the accused was told that yes there is a vicious bug going around. Conveniently let off the hook, he arrived back quite smug. I was in serious pain. I took 1000mgs of paracetamol but was still in pain some time later. I reached for the back up supplies... the stuff I keep hidden from everyone. God only knows the Solpedeine/Nurofen addicts of the world would only be pounding on my door if they knew about the bad boys I keep hidden at the bottom of the sock drawer. 

Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the bathroom...

Physical pain abating, the puking began with a fury. 3 litres of 7up, spinach and god knows what later, I finally came up for air. (It is never a good idea to puke into a bowl with a measure on the side). I put the bowl down, swatted the dog away and blew spinach/puke from my nose. I wiped the tears from my eyes - these were forced out due to the pressure of the puke coming out - not cause I'm soft or anything! I felt so good that I cleaned up everything, in the bathroom after depositing the contents of the bowl in the toilet. 

Bad choice of reading material

Horrible cramping pain persisted until this afternoon and now I'm feeling relatively fine minus about a stone of weight! My hair looks a bit big for my face and my clothes are hanging a little looser, but seem to have gotten through the winter vomiting virus fairly unscathed. 

Tag Cloud for Blogger

Found some HTML that can be inserted simply into Blogger's templates here. I only have 3 labels so far, so will go back for some editing when I have written more posts.

http://lastblogger.com/

Eddie Izzard changed my life

The following is my response to Niall Doherty's blog post My Biggest Secret 

Eddie Izzard changed my life. I saw a sketch of his about being a transvestite(TV) when I was in my teens. He hid it for so long and denied it when confronted with it. He was subjected to ridicule and beatings. One day when confronted he wearily replied – “Yes, I’m a transvestite”. People stopped bothering him – “Oh okay” and said no more.

He laid himself bare, said to those watching – Yes this is who I am. Like me or loath me but this is who I am.

When I became sick in early twenties I took on Eddie’s approach to my illness. I could have tried to hide away from people’s questions but my illness is so all-encompassing that I would have had to hide away from people completely. So I was open and honest.

In that time I have had to judge what motivated peoples’ curiosity. Some people are genuinely interested and want to learn more. Others simply view you as an oddity, something to be talked about at the lunch table in work the next afternoon – I met this girl who has X and it does X to her!

In the main, I have found my honesty has paid off. I have dispensed with shame and fear and met them head on. I have been clear in how my illness affects me, how debilitating it can be, and, most importantly for me, I have never sought sympathy.

One of my favourite sayings throughout my twenties was “Failure is so liberating” – I have “failed” at so much of what our society holds in esteem. And yet I maintain that I am one of the luckiest people going. Hiding, fear, feeling shame – are precious energy wasted. Go forth and shout your “secrets” from the roof tops!