Mentorship with Kaite O'Reilly

Thursday morning I awoke with a start! People say that but I don't know if they mean it. I actually jumped up in my bed. In the pitch dark I heard what had woke me "Where's Kaite?"

You see Kaite O'Reilly was due in that evening to begin our first major mentoring session. My mind must have been going through all the possible travel pit-falls that might befall this important meeting. I like to call this catastrophizing. All disastrous scenarios must be explored in my unconscious brain. I think this one was based around a fear that I forgotten her day of arrival. Some image of Kaite wandering the streets of a strange city was searing into my pre-waking brain.

Well there was no need for this level of fear as Kaite arrived that night and Friday morning we embarked on a packed day of mentorship. We had been engaging in a volley of emails the last month in preparation for this meeting. Kaite had developed a list of topics based on these emails which I added to as the day passed.

Intense discussions ensued as one topic melded into the other. All this was interspersed with writing exercises and a lot of questions. A lot of questions! Me to Kaite, Kaite to me and probably the most important, me to me.

What is mentorship?
I think it can be attractive to an artist to think that the mentor you have chosen will somehow drag the piece of artwork out of you. That isn't their job. That's the artists job. No one can write your play for you or paint your painting for you. Its down to the artist. It can also be attractive to think that the magic dust of success can rub off on you just by association with a successful artist. This is also a delusion. No one but me can do the hard work it takes to get up every morning and fight the demons that tell me I am no good and will be found out one of these days. No one but me can make me sit down in front a computer and make the clackiticlack happen.

Okay the above should be titled "what mentorship isn't". I can't say right now what mentorship is - I can only say what my experience has been so far. Its been about assessing my needs and communicating that. Its been about acknowledging when I am feeling vulnerable and what efforts I am making to hide that vulnerability. Its been about confronting my fears. Its been about   recognising when I have been trying to get the answer right rather than trying to "get down" what I have right now.

Its also been about getting to know this other wonderful artist, Kaite O'Reilly. Kaite has verbalised questions I was asking of myself but only in my head. She has asked ones I had not even thought of yet. This questioning has helped me to see possibilities I had not yet conceived for the project I am working on. It has helped open my view of the project to a full 360° view. She has also reassured me that its okay to feel overwhelmed at this point. Just keep writing!

The future
The next few months will be intense. We have plotted out deadlines for me to deliver work to her by for feedback. In the warm September sunshine I can feel enthusiasm for all these challenges. I am aware that as the days darken and grow cold, fear can strangle enthusiasm. Its up to me to keep writing. Even when the way is hard and inspiration feels like a gnarled tree stump, it is up to me to get the work done.

This mentorship is made possible through Arts & Disabilty Connect Awards Scheme and is funded by the Arts Council/An Chomhairle Ealaíon and managed by Arts & Disability Ireland

Giving thanks to our teachers...

I'm just back from a week of Commedia Del'Arte for advanced players with Annie Ryan of Corn Exchange. This is my second time doing this training and like usual I went in terrified. I nearly didn't go until a friend of mine gave me a kick up the bum: "Go you crazy cow!" So I went. 

Training in "The Style" is highly technical. I feel like a plate spinner, by the time I feel like I'm getting the hang of one thing the other plates come crashing down to floor. Its a  practise that engages me on an holistic level. I use every bit of my physical and mental capacity. 

Annie leads us through a gentle yoga-based warm-up in the morning. "Grounding" is exactly what you need when you are about to step off into the unknown. "Who will I meet today?" Annie emphasises "the heart space". Last year when I heard this for the first time it struck a cord with me. As actor-artists we are always in battle with the negative sides of ego; "Me first/My reputation/I want to look my best". Or even more limiting; "I'm shit/I'll never make it/Why am I even dong this?" However if I can ground myself in the heart space I can feel compassion for myself,  for those around me and for the characters I create. This is a place of expansiveness where I can create and take risks. 

Annie finishes off the warm-up with a moment of gratefulness. Giving thanks always gets me. We give thanks to our teachers. I think of all those people over the years who have left their mark on me for good, and for bad. I think of the Hindi phrase, "When the student is ready the guru appears." I think how the roles of teacher/learner can switch in a moment,  how anyone can serve in the role guru in a particular circumstance. 

 I think of my teacher, Belinda, who mid-wifed me through my terror of being watched "The audience want you to do well, Orla". I think of the lesson from Keith Johnston through his book "Impro"; "You are not responsible for your imagination" and how this allowed me to drop down the well into the darkest parts of imagination without fear that it somehow reflected on me. I have too many great lessons to recount here. 

And whilst I am grateful for all these positive experiences, I am also grateful for the pain of harder lessons. The death of two of my young friends within three months of each other, taught me about the preciousness of my life. It made me appreciate the wind on my face and setting sun of each day as it drew to a close, something they would never experience again. I think of other losses that helped me understand that grief is a process and although the loss will be with me forever, it will not always be so all-pervading. 

The lines from The Boxer by Simon and Garfunkel resonate

In the clearing stands a boxer 

And a fighter by his trade 

And he carries the reminders 

Of ev'ry glove that layed him down 

Or cut him till he cried out 

In his anger and his shame

"I am leaving, I am leaving" 

But the fighter still remains 

At times I have wanted to cry out "I am leaving" too but the fighter in me still remains. I am grateful for every every glove that cut me and every hand that held mine. I am grateful to all my teachers.  

The Giant of Kinsale - Part 4

Foam Attachment

Cutting patterns for face

Here my patience was really tested. Everything started out pretty well. I was easy to cut the foam. I put in huge seam allowances. Then I began to work with the latex. 

Sometimes it feels like you are the first person to do something. Like a pioneer of sorts. There is no handbook - just a set of instructions for use on a bottle or some vague memories of the last time you did something like this. The instructions for Latex are pretty simple. I went with the instructions for two non-porous surfaces. The latex loved absorbing into the foam and really didn't seam to want to attach to the packing tape cover. Slow, frustrating work. 

Adding first foam section

After hours of work and only one cheek completed I re-accessed. The K.I.S.S. rule ringing in my ears. Keep It Simple Stupid! Go back to to what you know best; Paper Mache! So I covered the entire remainder of head in paper mache. This gave me two absorbent surfaces to deal with and made my work much easier.

This set me back by about three days as I had to wait for this rather large head to dry. In the end it was worth it as it sped up the process of getting the the foam layer on.

Decision to Paper Mache the entire head

Slow Progress

Foam Layer Continued

This was by far one of the scariest times of the project. Each piece felt like it could go wrong at any stage. I was also working with products like latex and foam and not my preferred medium of paper mache. The is something meditative about paper mache - there is something not meditative bout smelly latex and burning your fingers!

Foam all in place!
(Note the Toilet Roll)

His first showing

While I was waiting for paper mache layers to dry etc I got onto other parts of anatomy. Then with about two weeks to go to Patrick's Day, Dave and Brian came over to have a look. I was delighted to be able to show them this fella that day... 

This was when he began to be known by his stage name "O'Brien"

Ta Da!

Closer...

The Giant of Kinsale - Part 3

Drawing on the features

Building up features

Using a a DVD/CD marker I drew out his features. I also added another over-hang for his chin. Then I began to build up newspaper into features. 

This is an ingenious method passed onto me by Alicia Falvey. She used this method to create ornate woodwork effects for a 17th chaise lounge for a production of a Moliere play. It can be then paper mached over and can be sanded down, painted and varnished like wood.

Building up features

Sculpting the newspaper shapes

Once a rough shape for each feature is achieved they were covered in packing tape. The packing tape creates a kind of "shell" that helps you to see where gaps that need filling might be or where there may be too much bulk. If there is a gap it is simply filled with more newspaper. If there is too much bulk in an area the packing tape shell is sliced into. The excess is trimmed away either with a scissors or your fingers. It is then re-taped ready for covering.

Trimming/Slicing newspaper shapes

Finished base features

The Giant of Kinsale - Part 2

Willow weave

Willow Weave

Next step was the willow weave. This allowed the main circles fullness to be maintained when further layers were added.

I wove at various points; between the eyes, sides and back of the head.

In the opposite picture you can also see the addition of a chin

Packing Tape Layer

 Packing tape layer

This was a fun layer. The willow was secured in place by applying layers of packing tape. I snipped off the willow ends and then taped these to the structure.

Below you can see the inside the crown still exposed. These protruding willow sticks were woven back into the structure and covered with more packing tape.

Internal view with unfinished
crown

Close up of crown

And voila! - A structure to start adding features to! (Or C3PO as he became known after this layer)

Packing Tape Layer complete

Giant of Kinsale - Part 1

Below is the basic structure for "O'Brien" as he affectionately became known. It's funny to look at this now. This was the culmination of many days work and  sleepless nights. It doesn't look much just a weird amalgamation of multiple materials... but this is what everything was built onto. Hard work on this structure saved much work down the line.

Here are a few things I learned from this process

1. Never take a phone call whilst in the middle of complex scale equations

2. Work in small spurts with walks/nights sleep in between sessions

Basic Structure

Bamboo Frame

I used this website to calculate several complex circle equations. This equation which calculates the largest square inside the circle was particularly invaluable. 

I created the frame based on a series of circles (Beer Tubing) that would be supported by bamboo. These I decided would be the upper brow and jaw line. As the chin would come down further than this structure, the eyes needed to be lower than the centre point of the Bamboo structure. This is so the eyes would end up at the centre of the head on completion. 

I created two further supporting squares for the brow bone and cheek bones. Onto these four squares I attached beer tubing. At this point I decided on placing the eyes on one side and put eye-holders in place.

Structure with eye in place

Close up of eye

Side view of structure with eye in place

These eye holes were made using "galband" and cable ties attached to the beer-tubing frame.

There are also a series of "guy" ropes inside the structure to keep the head shape in place. These were all removed with the addition of later layers.

Keith Johnstone quote on Mask

We distrust spontaneity, and try to replace it with reason: the Mask was driven out of theatre in the same way that improvisation was driven out of music. Shakers have stopped shaking. Quakers don't shake anymore. Hypnotized people used to stagger about and tremble. Victorian mediums used to rampage about the room. Education itself might be seen as primarily an anti-trance activity.

From "Impro" by Keith Johnstone
From Masks and Trance, Section 3: Destroying the Mask

"The Child" Mask

"The Child" 

Character Half Mask

Finished - Titanium Buff Base

Clay Mould

The Child was inspired by a set of masks in the Actor's Space. These were a family of masks designed for a theatre performance. I worked with the baby and I wished to explore the possibility of creating a mask which might go somewhere towards a pre-teen age group. 

I started with the basic plaster of Paris mould of my face which I had made the winter before. To this I added quite a thick layer of clay. I covered in the eyes as an experiment as I had not worked that way before. This would mean I would cut the eyes once it had dried. 

I used a picture of my niece and my own face as a primary resource for the structure. I was also inspired by a monologue I had written the year before. It is written from the perspective of an eight year old boy. 

Paper Layer

Discoveries

It was difficult to cut the eyes afterwards. It was quite uncomfortable to wear and needed a lot of foam to make it comfortable. Next time I will experiment with building the mask around the eyes in the design and so leaving space in the eye sockets for the eyes. 

The thick layer of clay produces a mask which is far too high and so again is uncomfortable for this reason. I will experiment with a thinner layer of clay all over next time. 

The painting is a joy. I went through "the fear" with this mask. "The Fear" strikes at the beginning of every creative project for me. With  mask-making it begins again with the painting stage. 

The fear seems to subside a little once I start to get a decent amount of paint on to it.  Again the use of finger blending on the masks produces the best effect in my books. Maybe it is the effect of human touch on an inanimate object that breaths more life into it. Or maybe it is the slow methodical obsessiveness that appeals to me. 

I decided to paint on the eyebrows so this was a new challenge for me. Again the fear surfaced somewhat here too but I continued on. I referred to the picture of my niece as support here. Her soft childlike eyebrows are very different from mine so it really helped to take inspiration from nature. 

"Five Kinds of Silence" Orchard Theatre Company

Last night I went to see the Orchard Theatre Company's "Five Kinds of Silence". The topic of familial abuse is not one that is going to get people rubbing their hands together saying "Oh I can't wait to go to the theatre tonight!" I mentioned the show to a few people and most were not interested in attending when they heard the main theme. This is a shame. It was one of the best pieces of theatre that I have seen in a long time. 

The running time is about one hour and ten minutes without an interval. It's a shorter play but then it would be  hard to sit through anything on this topic that dragged on. The actors were also on stage for the whole performance. The way this was achieved added greatly to the overall feel of the performance. The stage itself was barren except for a few items. From the point of view of touring, it was great to see what could be achieved with use of simple props and costumes. 

Billy, is the father and from the moment he begins to speak we get an insight into his corrupted and strange sense of reality. His first monologue is reminiscent of something from Iain Bank's "The Wasp Factory" or the stalking sequences in Patrick Süskind's "Perfume". The theme of scent returns again throughout the play being used to great effect in a later development within the play. Scent is primordial and is the only sense we cannot re-create from imagination. Yet it is probably the most evocative and memory inducing. 

The overall performances from the cast was outstanding but special mention has to be given to actor who played Billy. Yes he had an amazing script to work with but the depth of his performance really made the show believable. Billy is a monster but monsters are not born that way - they are created! The actor who played Billy brought you inside his life, his experiences. You felt every slap, every rejection, every ounce of the degradation of spirit which he endured and brought him to the point where the bullied becomes the bully. It could have been so easy to slip into portrayal with Billy as an evil monster yet this production managed to maintain a balance - between disgust over Billy's actions and sympathy for the tortured individual he became. 

I think overall going to see this play and this particular production would be a worthwhile experience. In Ireland, like other places with a large Catholic population, we have been rocked by stories of institutional and clerical abuse scandals. The theme of familial abuse is often over-shadowed by these scandals. Yet the themes within this play are universal. We are more likely to raped, abused and murdered by someone we know than by a random stranger. At night we lock our doors to keep these strangers out and yet it can be the people we are locked in with that could potentially hurt us more!

If you have time tonight go see this play - it wont take a lot of your time or cost you very much - but it will leave an impression and keep you thinking long after you have left the theatre space.

15 April · 20:00 - 22:00

Tickets 10€, Concessions 8€

Camden Palace Hotel

Camden Quay

Cork, Ireland